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Journey to Girly


My latest joint for Very Smart Brothas is up, son.


I used to rock with Bone Thugs N Harmony. I generally enjoyed bopping and inventing words to a handful of Bone Thugs songs and even copped the “Look Into My Eyes” maxi single. In fact, I learned Biggie’s verse on “Notorious Thugs” in the seventh grade to impress a girl, and well, you see how far that got me. Here are my thoughts after watching their “Tha Crossroads” video for the first time as an adult.

I. When The Swoop Bang Trio opened the video with that soul-accosting rendition of “Mary Don’t You Weep,” all that repressed fear came rushing back. Their eerie vocal swirls shook me the fuck up then, and it shook me the fuck up just now.

II. As a kid, because of the low-angle and overhead shots, I thought each of the Bones was all like eight feet tall. I figured that was part of the overall “Die Nigga Die” aesthetic. I thought the clip was unnecessarily gloomy and I let a friend convince me that smiling during the video would cause me to spontaneously combust. I haven’t watched it in easily 15 years. This shit is still pretty creepy, though. It still gives me just as many heebie-jeebies as that bedroom scene in Why Did I Get Married? with Tyler and fine ass Sharon Leal. (Dry heave.) The emotional experience involved in the watching of the video is akin to the despair experienced upon encountering a baggy magnum on an otherwise promising dude who just refuses to live in reality. Oh, the horror.

III. I still only understand about 47% of this shit. I reckon that is because I have since studied Spanish plus a smidge of Portuguese and have since been exposed to various accents and unique brands of gibberish. Since this video’s premier, I have lived through five Janet albums and a decade of It’s Ya Boy Lil Jon’s banshee screams. And sticking with Janet through The Jermaine Years has trained me in the art of deciphering the meaning of the most muddled bullshit. But not even mastering Janet’s most advanced Jacksonese could prepare me for the Bones and their rapid-fire pish posh. Looking back, I gather that we all did a lot of posing, emphasizing that one line in Wavy Hair Spice’s verse that we knew.

IV. It could be argued that Creepy McCreeperson, the baldheaded angel of death from this video, was the visual inspiration for Morpheus from The Matrix. And mid-90s R. Kelly was obviously the motivation for the baldheaded angel of death’s dark and stormy steelo. So far, I’m unable to decide who, between the man who killed that couple’s baby in the video and the Pied Pisser who wore this, is the bigger creep.

Read the rest over at Very Smart Brothas.

I’m confused, which is usually a good cue for me to leave teh internets.

I’m gonna send him one for each year of his life. Hope he gets a lot of smiles on his special day.

A year ago the royal baby was born and my niece slept through it with a smile because she’s cuter.

A year ago the royal baby was born and my niece slept through it with a smile because she’s cuter.

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Tagged as: Baby C,



To be ‘educated’ is to be indebted 


(Source: femininefreak, via roropcoldchain)


How To Make All-Natural Mango Fruit Leather

Oh My Veggies writes:

It’s been a while since I posted a fruit leather recipe here and since I get requests for them once in a while, I thought I’d post a new one today–mango! While I’m not one to discriminate when it comes to fruit leather, I think mango and banana are my two favorites because both can be made without any added sweetener. No sugar, no honey, no agave–just fruit.

I decided to do things a little bit differently this time and use parchment paper instead of spraying my baking sheet with oil. This has a few pros and cons. The biggest downside is that the fruit leather gets a little bit wrinkled as the moisture is baked out. Ugly fruit leather! But using parchment paper makes it much easier to remove the fruit leather from the baking sheet, the bottom of the fruit leather isn’t all oiled up, and if you’re planning on wrapping your fruit leather, you can just cut it into strips while it’s still attached to the parchment. Easy!

Here’s how to make mango fruit leather

Gotta do this with my leftover mangoes from granddad’s tree!

Take a look, it’s in a book. #ImmaRead

Take a look, it’s in a book. #ImmaRead

4 notes
Tagged as: immaread,


Was dying of boredom and went back to good ol’ Dreamself.
Meet Magical Girl Mina, a little lady that embodies all pink-loving black girls. 


Was dying of boredom and went back to good ol’ Dreamself.

Meet Magical Girl Mina, a little lady that embodies all pink-loving black girls. 

(via iamvictoriaanne)






help I’m having emotions about a cartoon antidepressant trying to be useful


yes but look at it, it cares about her and just wants to help her be able to function. It’s like “I know you’re sad. here, I’ll help you.”

LIKE OKAY THOUGH can I explain why this is exceedingly brilliant??  Because when anti-depressants work right, that’s what they DO.  They don’t make you happy or emotionless or unhealthy in any way, they make you FUNCTIONAL.  They make it so that a depressed person who can barely get out of bed can start to support themselves again and more importantly, start to THINK for themselves again without the permeating presence of depression.

Depression is a cyclical disease, that tells you to think a certain way, and, because you’re depressed, you generally believe it, and then things get worse and worse.  The ONLY thing anti-depressants do is to STOP that cycle in its tracks!!  Which is something to be ecstatic about and celebrated, even if you don’t realize it at the time, because when you’re depressed, getting out of bed is climbing Mount Everest.  Antidepressants help stop that cycle so that one day soon, getting out of bed can JUST be getting out of bed.  They don’t even expedite the recovery process in most cases, they just make recovery POSSIBLE IN THE FIRST PLACE.  So this little guy is portrayed with a fuckton more accuracy than I ever expected from a commercial.

It’s back and adorable

(via trumpetnista)

I just kept saying “what?” To myself the more I read.

(Source: owlcityinstagrams, via trumpetnista)

I'm 28 and haven't quite mastered the art of girly. I'm not even sure if I'm supposed to master it. Auntie of an awesome Babby. Lover of good times and sweet wines. Please don't make me wear pink.



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